Jessica (dancinpumkin) wrote,
Jessica
dancinpumkin

I feel so alone. Death would be so easy right now.

:( Today was tiresome. I feel like I'm the only imperfection in a perfect world. It really blows. I feel that everyone else i see at school has such a great life compared to mine and they don't have to worry about the bullshit i have to fucking deal with everyday. Things appear so much more easier for other people, I wish my life was stable and secure. I feel as if i have no place to go to, no home, no parents i can ask for support or help. I am so overwhelmed by all this bullshit that i feel as if i will never get out of it all. I also feel as if i don't know who i am anymore...if i ever really knew who i was...actually, I probably did once know who i was but either blocked it out of my mind or forgot after the various mind altering things i have put myself through. For the past couple of days all i have wanted to do is either sleep or sit in the dark of a room and cry all day, which was pretty much most of this past weekend. What the fuck is wrong with me?!? I don't fucking understand. I wish that I had never moved out of my mom's house in the first fucking place, it was over the stupidest reasons. I totally just fucked over my life by moving out. I wish i could change that now, but that isn't going to happen no matter how much i want it to because of a bunch of stupid bullshit between me and my sorry excuse for a family. It just really sucks for me right now because all of these things and a shit load of more crap is all built up in my mind and it is driving me fucking crazy and i don't now if it is even possible to handle all this. Too much damn stress is killing me.
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