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Jessica

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[11 May 2002|11:08pm]
Today I went bowling, went to a pizza place, watched lawn and sean battle at lassiter, went to marcus's house, went to mountasia (got 600 tickets & 2 comic books!!), and went to waffle house. I had a grand time today. Yes indeed.
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Well things are going to be good soon.... [04 May 2002|11:39pm]
[ mood | content ]

Tonite I saw the new Spiderman movie with Marcus, Justin, Darren and it was alright I have to say. It was at least more fun than watching movies at home. I'm just happy that I got to go somewhere. Hopefully I can pass as many classes as possible if not all of them. I hope that I can get a job soon also. I am ready for new things. Anyways, hi to everyone that bothers to read this sruff....if anyone acrually does, but whatever, it's cool. I really miss hanging out with Rozi and Tia, maybe sometime all of us can get together, but I understand that they have sruff to do like work, I'm sure that we'll work something out. Peace.

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[29 Mar 2002|05:16pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Your TOOL song is H.


You feel the influence of others profoundly. Even when far away, they can still hurt you. You have a tendency towards depression.
Take the What Is Your TOOL Song? quiz at Fire For Ice!
Quiz by fire4ice
Your TOOL song is Pushit


You can't handle pressure well; it causes you to snap and do things you would otherwise not do, such as hurting the ones you love. You also may be delusional.
Take the What Is Your TOOL Song? quiz at Fire For Ice!
Quiz by fire4iceYour TOOL song is The Grudge


You have a lot of anger stored up inside of you. You know that things will be better if you let it go, yet you have difficulty doing so.
Take the What Is Your TOOL Song? quiz at Fire For Ice!
Quiz by fire4ice

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"I used to be apathetic, but now i just don't care." [19 Mar 2002|04:36pm]

Red: 8/100 Blue: 13/100 White: 13/100 Yellow: 11/100
</a>
Take the Color Code Test
by Dano

BLUES:
The do-gooders


Life cannot bestow on anyone
a more gratifying reward
than the sincere appreciation
and trust of a Blue friend.



Blues Are Motivated by Altruism
Blues love to do nice things for others. They look for opportunities to give up something in order to bring another person happiness. Selflessness rather than selfishness is their guiding philosophy. Many Blues are uncomfortable doing things solely for themselves. They hold doors open for people, offer rides when someone's car breaks down, contribute to charities, even devote their entire lives to helping others.

Blues Seek Intimacy
More than anything else, Blues want to love and be loved. A true Blue will sacrifice a successful career to improve an important relationship. Once considered solely a female characteristic, this nurturing is more accurately understood as a Blue personality trait.

Blues Crave Being Understood
Blues are gratified when they are listened to, when they feel understood and appreciated. They are notorious for revealing their inadequacies, because they value being known and understood so much. In the eyes of a Blue, being vulnerable is a small price to pay for the chance to connect emotionally. Blues may have their hearts broken more than most people, but they also spend much more time in love.

Blues Need to Be Remembered and Appreciated
With Blues, a simple pat on the back will not suffice. Blues expend such great effort in making the world a better place that sometimes they need to be told how wonderful they are. They need to be thanked and specifically remembered for their good deeds. They need sincere gratitude. They delight in being remembered on birthdays and other special days, especially if the remembrance is personal--a homemade anniversary card, a welcome home party, a special day that isn't on the calendar. Blues need tender loving care.

Blues Are Directed by a Strong Moral Conscience
Blues are motivated to behave in a proper, appropriate manner. They have a moral code that guides them in their decision making, their value judgments, even their leisure time. Blues enjoy being "good." Of all the personality colors, Blues come equipped with the strongest sense of integrity. A Blue would rather lose than cheat. Blues are trustworthy. Ethically, Blues are the people who should be in positions of power, but seldom are.



Blues are the most controlling personality.

They are fiercely connected to the lives they live

and often appear to be emotionally unstoppable,

as though on a mission from God.




Blue Strengths

AS AN INDIVIDUAL

Sees life as a serious endeavor.

Appreciates beauty and detail.

Has a strong aesthetic sense.

Stable and dependable (plowhorse versus racehorse.)

Sincere and emotionally deep.

Analytically oriented (concerned with why one behaves as he/she does.)

High achiever

Deep sense of purpose.


AS A COMMUNICATOR

Able to enjoy sensitive and deep conversation.

Strong skills in empathizing with others.

Remembers feelings and thoughts shared in conversation.

Willing to give conversations time to run their course.

Prefers small groups.


AS A GOAL SETTER

Highly disciplined.

Receptive to other suggestions.

Strong goal orientation.

Plans well and follows through superbly.


AS A CAREER PERSON

Excellent behind-the-scenes worker.

Respectful of employer because of employer's position.

Enjoys detail and schedules.

Receptive of creating thinking in others.

Gives more of self than required or expected.


AS A PARENT

Encourages academics and/or trade development in children.

Excellent trainer of skills (e.g., manners, study habits.)

Very observant.

Empathic & sensitive.

Sincerely loyal to children.

Excellent in long-term commitments.

Keeps home clean & cozy.

Sincerely seeks to understand children's behavior.

Self-sacrificing.


AS A CHILD

Proper & behaved.

Easily disciplined verbally.

Concerned about being a good family member.

Sensitive & concerned about other family members.

Loyal to parents and siblings regardless of quality of relationship.

Seeks learning opportunities.


AS A FRIEND

Loyal forever once friendship is established.

Genuine concern for other person's well-being.

Remembers special holidays and promotes celebrations.

Encouraging in times of trouble.

Willing to commit time to the relationship.


AS A COMMITTED COMPANION

Gives the relationship priority over other activities.

Values intimacy and places high priority on it.

Considers spouse first in decision making.

Responsible for making ongoing contribution to relationship.

Enjoys sharing intimacy and places high priority on it.





Blue Limitations
AS AN INDIVIDUAL


Highly emotional.

Smug & self-righteous.

Controlling and/or envious of others' success when too easily obtained.

Strong perfecting and performance orientation.

Verbally self-abusive.


AS A COMMUNICATOR

Has intensely held opinions on many issues.

Tends to lecture and overdiscuss issues.

Rigid with principles and unwilling to negotiate.

Fears risking self in conversation.

Argues primarily from emotional perspective.

Strong expectations for others to be sensitive & deep.

Expects others to read his or her mind & know his or her feelings.


AS A GOAL SETTER

Sets unrealistically high goals.

Easily discouraged when unsuccessful in accomplishments..

Easily frustrated by lack of team cooperation.

Expects others to understand his or her goals and make them a priority.



AS A CAREER PERSON

Feels others are not capable of doing things as well as he or she.

Craves security in career.

Feels inadequate with natural talents and creativity.

Shies away from public exposure and performance.

Establishes high and often unrealistic expectations for self and others.

Tends to overplan and overprepare.

Critical of others' work and of self.

Overextends self.


AS A PARENT

Blames children for being unappreciative of parenting efforts.

Can be moody and unpredictable.

Easily irritated by mistakes and shortcomings of others.

Usually loves with strings attached.

Tends to give heavy doses of guilt to children.

Lacks ability to relax.

Requires a purpose in order to play.

Controlling and overprotective of children.

Too precise and exact with expectations.

Feels a clean home is a high priority.

Accepts guilt feelings too easily and readily.

Not spontaneous with activities.

Frustrates children with unrealistic expectations.

Strong sense of right and wrong--badgers children if convinced they may be wrong.


AS A CHILD

Easily frustrated.

Feels guilty over minor concerns.

Moody and emotional (cries instead of facing issues rationally).

Feelings are easily hurt.

Martyr-like and complains about life.

Self-esteem is dependent on outside influences.

Has difficulty relaxing and often feels uncomfortable.

Withholds affection if angered (pouts).

Waits for parent to initiate ideas an then criticizes unacceptable suggestions.


AS A FRIEND

Highly insecure about other's acceptance and approval.

Feels rejected easily.

When depressed or depressive, feels it is friend's job to understand.

Can be revengeful and bitter if crossed or scarred emotionally.

Critical of friends' principles or activities if not similar.

Expects friends to maintain strong loyalty.

Wishes friends would communicate more often.

Rarely playful and spontaneous.


AS A COMMITTED COMPANION

Blames others for his or her unhappiness (if only you were more...").

Demands affection and intimacy.

Demands time and attention of partner.

Highly manipulative in seeking support or understanding.

Suspicious of others' motives (distrustful).

Unforgiving of past misunderstandings and wrongdoings.

Clings to companion too much.

Withholds feelings when frightened he or she may be rejected.




CAREERS MOST LIKELY TO ATTRACT BLUES

Teacher, Banker, Nurse, Homemaker, Clergy/Minister, Engineer, Psychotherapist, Accountant, Librarian, Computer Programmer, Politician, Journalist, Musician, Architect, Carpenter.




PERSONALITIES WHO APPEAR TO BE BLUES

ABRAHAM LINCOLN: Renowned for his trademark of fairness, he always sought the most noble path that would benefit all parties, if possible. He sought truth as a guiding principle in his personal and professional relationships.

PRINCESS DIANA: Always dresses appropriately, she carried herself with dignity and class. Emotions ruled her life, and she rendered herself vulnerable to the general public, continually gaining sympathy and support for herself and her causes.

WALT DISNEY: A creative genius, he loved the process more than the bottom line and relished design and details.






BLUE NATIONS

United States
England
Denmark





How to Develop a Positive Connection with Blues

Do:

Emphasize their security in the relationship.
Be sensitive and soft-spoken in your approach.
Be sincere and genuine.
Behave appropriately and well mannered.
Limit their risk level.
Promote their creativity.
Appreciate them.
Allow ample time for them to gather their thoughts before expressing themselves.
Be loyal.
Do thorough analysis before making presentations.


Don't:

Make them feel guilty.
Be rude or abrupt.
Promote too much change.
Expect spontaneity.
Abandon them.
Expect them to bounce back easily or quickly from depression.
Demand perfection (they already expect too much from themselves.)
Push them too quickly into making decisions.
Expect them to forgive quickly when crossed.
Demand immediate action or quick verbal bantering.




Recommended Time-Management Tips for Blues

Thinks rationally rather than reactively when pressured. Emotionalism can create chaos and unnecessary distress.

Clearly state your limits when others impose deadlines on you.

Settle for less. Perfectionism often narrows your focus, causing you to ignore other important aspects of your life.

Don't set unrealistic expectations for yourself or others to the extent that everyone feels overwhelmed. Simply see goals as road markers rather than criteria for success.

Don't personalize your interactions with other people. Blues often suffer from feeling let down by others or from quitting because they let others down. Concentrate on the task at hand rather than becoming emotionally discouraged or critical.

See time management as a compromise rather than "all or nothing." If you fail to meet a deadline, learn to punt. It will free you to be more creative and less self-critical.

Realize that there are limits to what you can control. You cannot control other people.

Set a ten-minute time limit to worry about any topic in the day. When your time is up, so is your worrying. Get on with living in the present moment and doing what you can do rather than focusing on what is our of your control.

"If you love someone, set them free.
If they come back, they're yours;
if not, hunt them down and kill them!"
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I feel so alone. Death would be so easy right now. [19 Mar 2002|04:01pm]
:( Today was tiresome. I feel like I'm the only imperfection in a perfect world. It really blows. I feel that everyone else i see at school has such a great life compared to mine and they don't have to worry about the bullshit i have to fucking deal with everyday. Things appear so much more easier for other people, I wish my life was stable and secure. I feel as if i have no place to go to, no home, no parents i can ask for support or help. I am so overwhelmed by all this bullshit that i feel as if i will never get out of it all. I also feel as if i don't know who i am anymore...if i ever really knew who i was...actually, I probably did once know who i was but either blocked it out of my mind or forgot after the various mind altering things i have put myself through. For the past couple of days all i have wanted to do is either sleep or sit in the dark of a room and cry all day, which was pretty much most of this past weekend. What the fuck is wrong with me?!? I don't fucking understand. I wish that I had never moved out of my mom's house in the first fucking place, it was over the stupidest reasons. I totally just fucked over my life by moving out. I wish i could change that now, but that isn't going to happen no matter how much i want it to because of a bunch of stupid bullshit between me and my sorry excuse for a family. It just really sucks for me right now because all of these things and a shit load of more crap is all built up in my mind and it is driving me fucking crazy and i don't now if it is even possible to handle all this. Too much damn stress is killing me.
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[15 Mar 2002|12:25pm]
Heylo. I just got out of bed today and figured i'd write in this thing before i lose my lj page. It's been awhile. I'm about to go to the library...working on this fuckin research paper!! Oh weeeeelll. Yesterday was pretty chill. Lately, I've been thinking about prom...gotta save some major $$ for this. I think that it'll be fun though. Hopefully I can go to three-thirteen today and get an appointment. I really wish that i could get a job somewhere a little more casual. That would be so much easier on me. Yum, mexican food is good...especially leftovers!! O.K. don't ask. I am feeling pretty good today...gettin back in the swing of things. I'm thinkin of quitting smoking cigarettes...maybe eventually go vegan. I am surprised that i can still be sane with all these things in my mind. I am excited that im going to (unity) church sunday...I haven't been in so long!! yay. well imn gonna go and work on homework like the dork im suppose to be. peace.
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gloggy goop and more gibberish [06 Feb 2002|07:58pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Hey hey hey.
Things have been alright for the most part. I'm growing more and more tired of being online though. So this probably won't be too long....I'm buzzing my dad's back hair at the moment....fuuuuuunnn.
I can't wait until valentine's day!! I don't quit know what to get marcus...I'm sure I'll think of something though. My back hurts!! Ahhhhh. I hope that I can see Rosie soon. Today at school I was so happy to see marcus...right when i got to school at fourth period I got to see him like less than 20 minutes after i woke up and that was pretty cool. God I like him alot.

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sooooper bowl time.....*fart* [05 Feb 2002|10:02pm]
mmkay then....
things have been quite nice lately actually....
i'm goin out with marcus and that's really awesome and what not...
watched AKIRA and some of his mass media videos today with marcus and went to his church earlier today
...yeah his dad is a minister
...fuuuunn, oh well it is all well worth it
hmmm....i've been working again at chick-fuckin-fil-a
it's not too bad im not broke anymore...
...i'm workin on a project for school right now tho....
hmm....HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARLEY!!!
*peace*
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I'm so happy....<3 <3 <3 [19 Jan 2002|10:32am]
Last night was so fun!! Hehehehe. I got to see Marcus (<3) and it was all good....yay. :) Hmmmm....still living with my dad after all...I have no balls anymore obviously. Right now I'm just chillin at my mom's house...which is alright...might go to Rocky tonite. For the past week we didn't have any phone service at my dad's and we have it back now so yeah. I am becoming pretty good friends with this guy that i work with that is 5 years older than me...chris. But it is all cool here. I went to the Vineyard last night and saw some shows, it was fun. Especially seeing David with the huge ass water guns and killin people in the pit. Yes yes yes last night was quite interesting. I must go to work today...*sigh*...but at least i'll get paid next week i suppose. Peace.
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Garrble giggly gloo glopppp..... [08 Jan 2002|07:25pm]
Yes yes yes....I have once again moved back in with my mother. You know what...my dad is the biggest fucking dipshit i have ever met in my entire life to say the least. It just amazes me how a person can have a child and then totally fuck over their life. But, he can throw all my things away and say all the bullshit he wants because deep down i know that there is something inside of me that he will never be able to take away from me and I try to think of that when he attempts to fuck things up for me and the rest of my family. My father is such a let down for me and one day my brother will see all the things that my dad does...all the hate, all the greed, all the sexist, violent, and immature dim witted things that only my father would be capable of producing on this earth. Errrrrggg....fuck my dad in the ass with barbed fucking wire....annnyyyywaaayyysss tho...moving on to something else now that i feel slightly better... dammit i wish that i could stop thinking about what he did this afternoon because it's starting to get to me. I had a feeling inside of me that something like that was going to happen...shiiiitt. I just hope that i can at least get rozi's purse from there because her cell phone is in there and i will feel REALLY fucking terrible if he throws it away or whatever. I am gonna try to think positively now tho. School wasn't too bad today besides being really dizzy and sleepy in sixth period. I'm feeling more into the social mood now at least when I'm there so maybe I'll make some more friends and stuff. Actually, I didn't see too many people i wanted to see today but, I think that i can deal with it. I wish that i could have at least gotten the medication and her purse tho from my dad's dammit.
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Happy fuckin New Year!! [31 Dec 2001|07:20pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

Okay I feel better now. Rozi and her friend are on there way over. So that's cool that'll be able to do something fun for New Year's. I'm such a baby sometimes...damn. Anyways, tonight should be interesting!

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hahahahaha [31 Dec 2001|01:58am]
dancinpumkin: cryin bc i saw this movie last night that made me wanna cry
achybraky: which movie?
dancinpumkin: and im feelin bad
dancinpumkin: vanilla sky
achybraky: wanna tell me why bad?
dancinpumkin: pms
achybraky: and vanill a sky?that penelope cruz movie?
dancinpumkin: yeah
dancinpumkin: and tom cruise and cameron diaz
dancinpumkin: yeap
dancinpumkin: that;s the one
achybraky: u said pms tomcruise cameron diaz
achybraky: hu is pms?
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yeah yeah yeah my life officially sucks...*points gun at head* [31 Dec 2001|01:04am]
[ mood | moody ]

I'm so fucking pissed. Today has sucked fuckin donkey balls. Karley had to leave early and i didnt do a goddamn thing all day except be on this computer and bored out of my mind!! FUCK!! New years is going to be so fuckin stupid. Shiiiiit, no one wants to do anything with me and i probably wouldnt be able to anyways and most people are already gonna do what they have planned and shit like that so i'm basically fucked. I'm probably gonna go to fucking church with my mom and be totally depressed because i have like two fucking friends for christ sake!! Fuck me i'm a loser. Seriously. Why cant i have friends that want to do things with me??!? FUCK ME. i hate myself with a passion which grows stronger by the day.

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ima lush [30 Dec 2001|03:21pm]
[ mood | flirty ]

Last night I saw Vinalla Sky and it was pretty damn good. Even though I was on the verge on crying my ass off about 2764973957987942 times. Anyways tho... next semester I'm not gonna go to Sprayberry anymore. I drove around west cobb the other day with my driver's ed teacher for two hours and that was pretty fun. Yup in a week my candy ass is goin to North fuckin Cobb...yay. I woke up in the worst possible way today too. Can't wait till this summer...get to drive (finally). Hmmmm....guess what?!?! I'm 54% gay!! Go figure...


What Video Game Character Are You? I am a Gauntlet Adventurer.I am a Gauntlet Adventurer.


I strive to improve my living conditions by hoarding gold, food, and sometimes keys and potions. I love adventure, fighting, and particularly winning - especially when there's a prize at stake. I occasionally get lost inside buildings and can't find the exit. I need food badly. What Video Game Character Are You?

What Cartoon Character Are You Like?

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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! I knew it all along..... [29 Dec 2001|02:43pm]



Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

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[28 Dec 2001|03:20pm]
[ mood | shittaaaaay ]

fuck you.
there's no one online dammit.
fuck you.

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[28 Dec 2001|03:01pm]
[ mood | drained ]

<td>
The Mad Hatter

You tend to confuse people, especially yourself. It doesn't matter, though, because you enjoy life as it's thrown to you, whether you're doing the right thing or the wrong thing (which most of the time you're not sure of). You've a friendly nature, but sometimes you're pretty damn overwhelming, you freak.
You don't really care about anything or anyone, except for your Game Slave.
Take the Invader Zim quiz!

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doobie doobie doooOoOoOoOoooOoo.... [27 Dec 2001|10:45pm]
I got a nny shirt!! YAAAAAAY!!! I'm so happy! Ummm ... anyways...here's some more test thingies:

Take the MONSTER RANCHER test at dontbewillful.com!

ADMINISTRATOR
(Submissive Extrovert Concrete Thinker )


jessica
Like just 4% of the population you are an ADMINISTRATOR (SECT)--detail-oriented and organized. You're an extrovert, but you lack the over-aggressive tendencies of obnoxious "go-getters." Very nice. However, you probably like getting up in other people's business--living through them a little... dude, sometimes you just gotta let it ride. Don't be such a busy-body.

Anyway , you're an excellent manager, of both yourself and other people. That's because you prefer thinking concretely rather than creatively, and you'd rather follow what your mind tells you than your heart--people respect this, but it can make them mad when their appeals to love and kindness fall on deaf, deaf ears. Try to have a heart sometimes.

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[27 Dec 2001|10:16pm]
[ mood | good ]

<td></td><td width="400">
You're a very open and adventurous person, you've been around the block and back several times. Yet, as all people do, you realize that this life style cannot go on forever and need to settle down. Hopefully as more time progresses you'll stick to one gender and not be so greedy!
Take The "Which Kevin Smith Female Are You?" Quiz!!
</td>
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oh goddamnit [25 Dec 2001|11:49pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

I cant believe that writing in this damn journal would fucking offend people....it's just what was on my mind at the fucking time...it's not that i hate everybody but, certian people piss me off in how fucking retarded they can act, that's all. You know, just because I'm saying fuck the world doesnt mean i think that all the time!! To be great is to be misunderstood. So...if you get pissed FUCK YOU!!! I enough bullshit to put up with.

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